Everyone's Opinion Counts
Practical Applications in Servant Leadership, part 7
(Previous posts: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6)
In the worst phase of my career and my life I had all the answers. It was hard to argue with me because I could defend everything I thought and was pretty brash and forceful about it. I didn’t think I needed to ask for the input of others, because I assumed everyone would be as ready as I was to go toe to toe over what they considered important. I didn’t understand the need to nurture a sense of safety to bring out the opinions of people different from me. I wasn’t wise about how much I needed other views to make the best decisions I could. “Without counsel, plans go awry, But in the multitude of counselors they are established.” Proverbs 15:22
Of course you know I didn’t really have all the answers! Even in the rare cases where I was already right about the best course of action, I shouldn’t have believed I was right until I’d bounced it off people smarter than me who had different perspectives and experiences.
Sadly, even when I started to ask for input from others I was extremely selective in who I asked. I’m certain there were a lot of people around me who were rightly convinced that I didn’t really care what he or she thought. It took far too long for me to figure out that the broader my listening was, the more I learned and could see things from other perspectives. Which brings us to the seventh question:
Q7: At work, my opinions seem to count.
Sit back and think about this one: how many of your direct reports and peers would answer “Strongly Agree” to this question? The particulars of what you personally need to do to be known as someone who cares about other people’s opinions is going to depend on your own personality, position, preferences and superpowers. Start with caring. Then make sure you are clearly communicating that care.
One of the things we say around our house frequently: “Miscommunication is easy. There are 1000 ways to do it. Communication is hard.” And it’s true. Accurate communication is much more complex than we want it to be. The Radical Candor folks have a mantra: “Communication is measured at the listener’s ear, not the speaker’s mouth.” You may believe that you’re doing what it takes to make people think they’re opinions count and still be miserably failing at it.
One thing that can help to bring better, more meaningful feedback is to be extremely clear about the purpose of each meeting, and the stage that each project is in. The Working Genius assessment is not just great for helping to understand what sort of work energizes you, it also gives your team a shared vocabulary for talking about phases of projects. People are more likely to give valuable feedback that you get genuinely excited about when they understand what needs to be tackled at any particular time.
Here’s a few ways you can communicate to others that their opinions matter:
When someone voices an opinion, especially when they’re brave enough to share one that’s unpopular in the setting, respond to it immediately with two things: gratitude and clarification. Thank them for voicing the thought then double click into the statement to make sure you thoroughly understand it.
When someone’s voiced opinion changes the final product or decision, make note of that. Circle back to the individual and share with her or him how the opinion improved the final work product and show gratitude for how the person contributed to the team’s success
When a change is coming, be vigilant in soliciting opinions about the change from the people it affects. One way I’ve seen this question worded in other engagement surveys is “At ABC Company I’m involved in decisions that affect me.” Create and protect an environment where people know that things are done collaboratively rather than decisions being made from on high. Even when an idea is ultimately unworkable, getting the opportunity to voice the thought helps with engagement and a sense of safety and belonging. And again, thank each person who gives input for taking the time and having the individual courage to do so.
Perform regular “Stay” interviews with your team members. You know exit interviews, right? Often it’s the first time someone candidly voices an opinion about the place they work, and it’s when it’s too late to keep a valuable person on the team. Take the time, at least annually, to sit down and do the same type of interview with people who aren’t leaving and take the opinions seriously. And yes, thank them for being straightforward and gain clarification as needed to make sure you accurately understand the opinion before walking away from the “interview”
Be a boss who listens. Be an active, accurate, caring listener. One of the best ways to differentiate yourself as a leader is to listen. When you do, people will know that their opinions matter with you and give you the gift of voicing them more in the future. You’ll be amazed at how well your team works together when everyone feels safe enough to voice their thoughts and also confident that it’s not a waste of breath.