Action Steps to a Caring Heart
Practical Applications in Servant Leadership, part 5
(Previous posts: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4)
“Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.” This catchy little statement points out something that resonates with many workers: Good leaders care about their people. Most of us have had a supervisor or leader we’ve worked for that seemed to care only about results, and not the people making those results possible. Even the department title “Human Resources” can be viewed from a dehumanizing perspective, where people are valued only in so much as they can produce a sellable product, a resource the same as any other business asset. Which brings us to the important next issue in our series riffing off the Gallup Q12 Engagement survey:
Q5: My supervisor, or someone at work, seems to care about me as a person.
Have you ever had a boss who only seemed to care only about what you got done? And paid attention to you mostly when you’d messed up? It’s demoralizing.
Most people really do want to please their immediate supervisor. Those who don’t often have simply given up on it being possible. The trend of quiet quitting is largely a response to being treated as nothing more than a cog in a machine. Don’t fall into the trap of condemning those workers that do as little as they can if you haven’t at least equally condemned the poor management behavior that makes their response seem like a good defensive action.
In the previous article, we talked about the importance of regular check-ins and giving recognition or praise for good work. In addition to meaningful praise, every person you work with wants to be recognized as a human being. Yes, part of that is understanding their superpowers and gifts, but more than that, you should acknowledge every person you work with as a unique creation of God.
Now, I am not a naturally empathetic person. People with empathy literally feel the feelings of the person they are with, and respond in understanding because of it. While empathy can be nurtured, you can also show a caring attitude whether or not you are naturally empathetic. Caring is the actions and attention that take place when you know that something matters. When you understand that people matter most of all, you will start acting like it.
While highly empathetic people often can communicate their care without even thinking about it, those of us not gifted with empathy usually have to work at it. Most of the people I managed early in my leadership career would tell you that I gave off strong “he doesn’t care about me” vibes. The truth was, sometimes I cared and didn’t know how to show it and other times I really didn’t understand them and didn’t care to. Both halves of that problem were my responsibility. The people on the team with me suffered because of my lack of attention to them as whole people.
Note that caring deeply about those you work with isn’t enough. They have to know you care. This Q12 question gives feedback on how well you’re showing that you care.
If you don’t care about people like you should, ask the Holy Spirit to open your eyes so you can see the value that God sees in every person. Every person is precious regardless of their abilities. If you care, but don’t think you are showing it well, make some plans to change that.
Here’s three ways that you can start to overtly and clearly show that you care about those you work with:
Ask about them. You’re having your 1 on 1 meetings regularly with every direct report, right? One of the things I resolved as I started to focus on caring well for my team was to never to be the first one to bring up work in my 1 on 1 meetings with direct reports. While not the answer for every circumstance, it was perfect for the change I needed. Showing you care about a person as a person means taking genuine interest in them as an individual and not just the work she or he does for your organization. Click here to read a short article from Harvard Business Review with some specific questions you can ask beyond “how are you doing?” to help your team feel comfortable opening up.
Give lots of flexibility and trust. It’s hard to show you care if you’re micromanaging or over-managing. If your teammate knows that he or she isn't going to get pushback for needing a couple of hours away from the keyboard for a doctor appointment or a sick child, it’s easier to see that you care about them as an individual and not just about output.
Put time together in a career growth plan. If you’re willing to invest in someone’s growth (training dollars, mentor time, etc), especially if it’s in ways that your team doesn’t directly benefit from, it shows a general interest in the long term good of the person you’re working with. You’re going to get the blessing of having someone on your team who has potential to pass you up in the org chart. Enjoy their time with you and get them the tools they need to hit their individual best, rather than trying to hold on to their talent as long as you can.
This is a topic that can be fun to brainstorm and come up with other ways to show that you care about others as a person. And don’t restrict yourself to showing care for your direct reports. Show love for others in your orbit in ways that only you can. Understanding and attention are gifts you can give anyone. What are some other ways you’ve shown people that you care?
Thank you! Well said.