“Be a Leader, not a Boss!”
I’ve seen a dozen memes with this punchline, shared and re-shared from diverse sources on LinkedIn. Sometimes it’s a picture of stick figures pulling something together (Leader) contrasted with one stick figure whipping three others to push the same object (Boss). The memes could be creative or campy, but they are everywhere.
Here’s my beef: when we start assigning qualitative differences to titles we end up obscuring as much as we clarify. Saying you’re a “leader” instead of a “boss” has nothing to do with whether you’re good at it. Which would you rather be? A bad leader or a good boss?
I’ve heard Dave Ramsey make a point of saying that there is no one in his organization with the title “manager” because he wants people to direct, not manage stuff. Shakespeare pointed out long ago that changing the name of something does not change its essence. A rose by any other name would smell as sweet, and a director can handle the same functions as a manager.
In her groundbreaking book Radical Candor, Kim Scott explains why she chose to primarily use the word “boss” to describe a supervisory relationship:
I prefer the word “boss” because the distinctions between leadership and management tend to define leaders as BSers who don’t actually do anything and managers as petty executors. Also, there’s a problematic hierarchical difference implied in the two words, as if leaders no longer have to manage when they achieve a certain level of success, and brand-new managers don’t have to lead.
We use a lot of different titles to describe leadership roles. Here’s a sampling (ignoring titles used almost exclusively by governmental or religious bodies):
Manager
Leader
Director
Boss
Superintendent
Chief (as in Chief X Officer)
Officer
Foreman
Supervisor
President (or Vice President)
Principal
Chair (as in Chairman, Chairwoman, Chairperson)
Head (as in Head Nurse)
Senior (added to other titles like Senior Director or Senior VP)
Sometimes the words get combined into fun (or pompous and aggrandizing) titles like Senior Chief Supervising Director of Managers. (Yes I made that up but I won’t be surprised to find it in an organizational chart someday)
The words in the list all have denotative meanings. I’m going to quote Webster’s first listed people related definition here for just four:
Manager: one that manages (to handle or direct with a degree of skill): such as a person who conducts business or household affairs
Leader: a person who leads (to direct the operations, activity, or performance of): such as a guide, conductor.
Director: one who directs (to regulate the activities or course of): such as the head of an organized group or administrative unit.
Boss: a person who exercises control or authority, specifically : one who directs or supervises workers
If it’s not obvious, the four words are synonyms. Click on the "synonyms of _____” in any of the Webster links above and you’ll get the other three words listed among the first 5-6 related words.
Why, then, are we in a hurry to take the words and contrast them so starkly? Certainly, we have different connotations of the words depending on our background. Some of it comes specifically from the negative connotation of the word “bossy”, and that’s understandable. In many cases, though, it seems that people are experiencing frustration over a poor workplace and then blaming it on the authority structure itself.
When you supervise someone else, you do have some degree of control or authority over her or him. That’s kind of the key piece of the leadership role: it includes authority. We often can influence others without the presence of any official control or authority, and in fact the best bosses and leaders are able to direct others they manage without ever once appealing to that authoritative relationship. But the authority does still exist.
You, leader, are someone’s boss. You manage and direct others. Don’t be afraid of the variety of words to describe what you do. When you “meme away” words like boss we imply that bosses are all bad and leaders are all good: and that’s neither true nor helpful. Managing people means sometimes you give them tasks and there will be repercussions if they don’t do them. Being a boss is just a fact, not an indictment.
To lead with clarity you should embrace the diversity of both skills and backgrounds but also words that can describe relationships. It gives depth to your role and allows you to strive to be competent, helpful and gracious in all of our activities as a leader. So work to grow and be:
A competent director of others
A good leader of your team
A well-rounded manager of your areas of responsibility
A generous boss to those under your care
This article! So good. "When you “meme away” words like boss we imply that bosses are all bad and leaders are all good: and that’s neither true nor helpful." Great post, James. Gave me pause and made me think.